The Weight of Silence: Navigating Privacy and Trauma in African American Family Histories

Paperdoll Ancestry with Lisa

April 2024

As a Black family historian and African American genealogist, I have dedicated my work to uncovering the hidden stories of our ancestors. But with each new discovery, I am reminded of the delicate balance between sharing our histories and respecting the privacy of those who came before us.

F​or generations, our families have carried the burden of silence, shielding the painful truths of rape, molestation, and violence from the world. These traumas were often perpetrated by those in power, and the shame and guilt that followed were shouldered by our ancestors. The weight of this silence has been passed down through epigenetics, leaving an indelible mark on our collective psyche.

As we uncover these hard ancestral histories, we must confront the ethical dilemma of sharing them with the world. Do we expose the truth, potentially causing pain to living relatives, or do we preserve the silence that has protected our families for so long?

I believe that the answer lies in thoughtful consideration and respect. We must prioritize the privacy of our ancestors and their descendants, acknowledging the trauma that has been endured. However, we must also recognize the power of storytelling and the importance of confronting the brutal realities of our past.

Here are some guiding principles for navigating this complex issue:

Ancestor-centered approach: Prioritize the dignity and privacy of our ancestors, considering how they might feel about their stories being shared.

Living relatives' consent: Obtain permission from living relatives before sharing sensitive information, respecting their right to privacy and control over their family's narrative.

Sensitive storytelling: Approach traumatic stories with empathy and compassion, avoiding gratuitous detail or sensationalism.

Contextualization: Provide historical context, explaining the societal norms and power structures that enabled these traumas to occur.

Healing and support: Offer resources and support for those who may be triggered or affected by these stories, acknowledging the intergenerational impact of trauma.

By embracing these principles, we can honor our ancestors' memories while also respecting their privacy. We can break the silence that has haunted our families for generations, creating a new legacy of truth, healing, and resilience.

Let us continue to uncover our histories, but let us do so with compassion, empathy, and a deep respect for those who have come before us. - Lisa Hazell